Pangasinan courtship and marriage customs are never a casual and private affair -- they unfailingly involve the entire household, clan or even neighborhood, as though to say that something very important is about to happen, as indeed it is. There is the indispensable consent of the elders or the parents particularly in almost all stages of the marriage ceremony. From the segep to the pagatin down to the marriage ceremony in church, and even up to the reception ceremony, members of both families usually have a say in them, and their consent is actively sought.
Panagdamag or panagkaraw (panliligaw or courtship) is important to a woman and her suitor, as this is a way for them to express their love and affection for each other. Unlike modern practices, proper courtship in the traditional way has the man going to the house of the woman to formally give respect to the family of the woman. Traditional courtship methods include doing harana or serenade together with the man’s male friends and doing household chores for the woman and her family.
However, a lunario reader is often consulted by both parties before deciding whether the person being eyed for marriage is the most auspicious for them or whether a target wedding date is the best date to have. The lunario is a traditional guide for all important events in life, including courtship and wedding.
Segep is the first visit of the lover to the house of the bride-to-be, similar to pamamanhikan of the Tagalogs. This visit may be repeated.
Segep is followed by the tandag, in which the groom's relatives get to know (tandagan) the would-be bride and her relatives.
Sangi or panangi is when the would-be groom visits with his parent/s to ask for the hand of the would-be bride -- similar to the paghingi ng kamay of the Tagalogs. The bride-to-be’s family prepares food for this meeting. The groom’s family is expected to shoulder all expenses.
There's also the salonson stage or formal marriage proposal, which "is purely a meeting for economic bargaining between parents before marriage plans are allowed to proceed further. Land rights may be withheld by parents if they disapprove of a son's choice of bride."
This haggling stage uses the services of the albasia. During this time, haggling is made for the dasel or dowry (how much or how many), how grand the wedding will be, where the couple will stay, etc. Anything of large monetary value can be accepted as dasel, and this served as a marriage gift to the bride and her family and as a sign of financial capability and stability on the side of the would-be groom. The dowry may be written in black and white in a document called daselan. When the poetic exchange (mabunikew a salitaan) is finished at this point, both the lakian (groom's party) and the biian (bride's party) reach an agreement, including the date of alay ngaran (public announcement of engagement) and bansal (wedding day).
After the sangi, the dungo is held. The groom-to-be and his family bring food and visit the bride-to-be and her family and invite them to a little pre-wedding party.
Alay ngaran is the time at which the couple publicly announces their wedding date via a church banns.
Held during the night before the wedding day is the basay bansal, which gathers parties from both sides in celebration, in a kind of combined stag party and bridal shower. A baile or dance party is held.
Bansal is the wedding rite at the church, with the groom and the bride wearing wedding finery and their families clothed in matching formal wear. The traditional Catholic wedding rite is followed. A song that is often sung in this occasion is the "Pamatanir," in which the bride tearfully bids her parents adieu.
During the wedding reception, the newlyweds are expected to hold their first dance, the pakep dance, at which point the papeket is practiced. As the couple dances, wedding ninongs and ninangs (godparents), abays (groomsmen and bridesmaids), and guests compete in pinning money onto the clothes of the couple, with the money meant as financial assistance as the newlyweds begin their journey as husband and wife and as a symbol of good fortune for them.
After the wedding day, the family of the bride will formally send her to the groom’s house and they have a simple celebration called pagatin. The "Pangabalayan" song may be sung and the pangabalayan dance may be performed.
In other parts of Pangasinan, the pagatin may be the last part of the wedding celebration itself. The parents-in-law (sanabalayan) walk forward in front of the couple, who are seated at the center of the sala and entertain them with dechos (speeches) then dance and sing "Panangabalayan." In this song and dance, they portray how they like their new son-in-law and daughter-in-law and that they would like them to live peacefully and happily
KEY INFORMANT/S: Mrs. Juanita J. Junio, a 71-year old resident of Nalsian Norte, Bayambang, Pangasinan
ADVISER: Mr. Christopher Q. Gozum
NAME OF PROFILER/MAPPER: Mr. Ian Michel L. Datuin, Mrs. Rebecca C. Manzano
Aicella Anne Junio, Jochelle Rivera, RV Junio, Sheila Perez, Lovely Lopez, Bayambang National High School
DATE PROFILED: June 8, 2019
ADDITIONAL MAPPERS/EDITORS: Vernaliza M. Ferrer, Resty S. Odon
CONSULTANTS: Melchor Orpilla, Santiago Villafania
Reference:
Anderson, J. N. (1962) Some aspects of land and society in a Pangasinan community, Philippine Sociological Review 10: 41-58. as cited in: Quisumbing, Agnes R., "Intergenerational Transfers in Philippine Rice Villages: Gender Differences in Traditional Inheritance Customs" (1991). Discussion Papers. 640. https://elischolar.library.yale.edu/egcenter-discussion-paper-series/640
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