Local Wake and Funeral Rituals and Beliefs

 

Local Wake and Funeral Rituals and Beliefs

As human beings, our fear of death is primal or instinctual. How much we go out of our way to deny, delay, or dispel it is proof of this. The fear is so morbid even though death is certain and inevitable, and that makes such a reaction amusing in the end.

 

The local culture is no exception in terms of developing an elaborate set of practices around grieving the dead and forestalling another death in the family.

 

The expressions of grief and the fear surrounding it can be seen in manifold ways. And the message is always, "Death is downright undesirable." In the face of the utter futility of pushing it as far back from our minds as possible, we are, in effect, saying that we were never meant for death.

 

Even though still overwhelmingly Catholic in religious affiliation, locals today, like most Filipinos, are known to hold a variety of wake and funeral beliefs and practices that are not necessarily sanctioned by their avowed faith. These must persist for the compelling reasons stated above.

 

- Lamay (Wake)

 

Wakes are a requisite period of mourning for the bereaved, easing them out of the trauma of loss, but it remains punctuated by careful do's and don't's.

 

• Agmo iibaan papaway o pasempet so binmisita ed lamay. No sika'y binmisita ed inatey, agka manpapatanir ed inateyan.

 

Welcoming or escorting guests or visitors during the wake is to be avoided at all cost. The family or relative of the dead person should never do it because it is believed to be an inappropriate gesture of happiness. On the other hand, a visitor from a lamay or wake should never take his leave or bid goodbye to the deceased person's family members.

 

• No walay akilamay o angiter na abuloy para inatey, agka misasalamat. Amin ya abuloy, gastusen para ed inatey.

 

Never say thanks to anyone who went to the wake or gave abuloy or aid. And all financial aids must be spent for the dead.

 

• Sa'y insulong mo'd lamay (o tulor), dapat ya ipesak ya tampol.

 

Whatever you wore during the wake (or funeral) must be washed at once to get rid of bad luck.

 

• Agka mangisesempet na panangan ya in-sirbe da ed lamay.

 

Do not bring home any food item from a wake or funeral so as not to bring home bad luck.

 

• Mangiatang para ed inatey.

 

Offer atang to the dead on the altar during the entire wake period and lumpos. These are food and personal items that the deceased considered to be his or her favorite when he or she was still alive.

 

• Alimaong so manlinis o manpanis.

 

Avoid sweeping the floor or cleaning the house during the wake and the funeral. This belief applies most especially to the family members of the deceased. According to the informant, Monica Bantigue, when you do this, you push out the soul of the dead from the household and try to bring the souls of his loved ones with him.

 

But you can pick up the trash with your hands instead.

 

• Alimaong so naterteran ya luwa may inatey tan amay kabaong.

 

Never let tears drop on the body of the dead or even on his coffin. When this happens, it will make the journey of the dead person to the afterlife difficult because of the heavy burden caused by your tears and grief. If you want him/her to leave peacefully, you should obey this belief.

 

• No diad abong lalamayan so inatey, bawal so manames ed abong mo, balet nayari'd arom ya abong.

 

When the wake is held in the house of the deceased, family members cannot take a bath in the house; they may take a bath at another house.

 

• Agka mansusulong na ambalanga.

 

Wearing red clothes or anything with a touch of red or loud color is also prohibited during wakes or funerals. This color symbolizes joy and love, so it is inappropriate to wear during the “lamay.” Wearing red is considered an insult to the dead and his/her family.

 

• Alimaong so mangan tan manluto na panangan ya nanlapo ed unkukurong ya tanaman.

 

Foods made from vines should not be served or eaten during funerals. According to the informant, Flora Junio, death will hound the relatives of the dead if you violate this belief. Vines symbolize the non-stop creeping of death into each one of the family members of the deceased.

 

• Manpagpag no akilamay o akitulor.

 

When coming from a wake or funeral, observe pagpag by dropping by or eating somewhere so as not to bring home bad luck.

 

• Agmo ikakapot so puerta'y abong.

 

Do not close the gate entirely during the wake.

 

• Place a chick on top of the coffin, if the deceased died of murder and the murderer is unidentified.

 

Putting a chick on top of the coffin of those who died unnaturally such as being shot or stabbed is necessary. Every peck of the chick on the glass of the coffin symbolizes a peck at the conscience of the killer. This is done to make him surrender and confess his guilt.

 

• Bawal suutan ng sapatos ang patay.

 

The deceased must not wear any shoes.

 

• Pinahahawak ng pera ang patay.

 

The deceased must be made to hold a piece of money.

 

• The caretakers of the wake should keep vigil at the wake.

 

Those in charge of the wake should take turns being awake and not fall asleep, to keep the dead company.

 

• There must be a chair placed beside the coffin; the chair is solely for the use of the spouse of the dead.

 

If the dead person has a spouse, there must be a chair intended for his/her spouse to sit on beside his/her coffin. If someone else who has a spouse mistakenly sits on the chair, his/her spouse will die too.

 

• A new candle should not be placed on top of a candle that is dissolving.

 

It is said that putting another candle at the top of a dissolving candle isn't the right thing to do during wakes and funerals because it means another person will also die.

 

 

- Tulor (Funeral)

 

By the time of interment, acceptance of loss -- or a semblance of it -- must have set in, but the fear remains amidst the expression of grief.

 

• Manlinis na abong.

 

Clean the house thoroughly on the day of the funeral, but other people (not household members) must do this task. Gin must be poured around the sides and corners. The curtains, pillowcases, blankets, and bed sheets must be removed for washing. The mattress and other bedding materials of the deceased must be removed and thrown away. All of these are done presumably to dispel bad luck.

 

• Mansulong na andeket.

 

On the day of the funeral, family members and relatives and friends must wear black clothes. Throughout the grieving period of 40 days, pin a black plastic tag on the side of the chest area of your shirt, or wear a black armband or black headband made of cloth. (Today, white is preferred.)

 

• Panagpakger na manok o panagsura'y malas

 

To dispel the inherent 'bad luck' brought about by death in the family, a chicken is sacrificed or a glass (e.g., bottle, etc.) is broken within the confines of the bereaved person's place of residence.

 

• Agmo dodobleen o papawilen ya dalanen so angidalanan na inatey.

 

During the funeral, do not retrace or go back to the path the funeral cortege took.

 

• Paksuten no tulor so rosaryo ya ipabemben ed inatey.

 

During the funeral, the rosary that was used for the deceased to hold in his or her hands should be cut.

 

• Ibeltang so ugaw ed tapew ya lungon.

 

Before burying the dead, the funeral escorts lift the cover of the coffin so that the young children related to the deceased can show their respect to him/her by lifting them and carrying them across the coffin to the other side. This is done to prevent children from being greeted by the dead and experiencing strange and sudden pain.

 

• Manpinsiw ed inatey antes ya ipunpon ed lungon.

 

The younger family members of the deceased may also bid the dead goodbye by pulling his or her hand to their forehead.

 

• Ipunpon kaiba'y inatey ira'y personal ya gamit to, puwera labat so tsinelas o sapatos.

 

Bury the dead's clothing and other personal effects to accompany him in his travel to the afterlife, except for the footwear for this will cause visitations of the dead to the family he left behind.

 

• Palanit

 

This is the obligatory feeding provided by the bereaved family for all relatives and friends who have come to the funeral, most of whom have taken the trouble of traveling from afar. 

 

• Kasumpal na tulor, manuras kayo'y lima kasabi'd abong gamit so danom ya nilambunga'y bulong na bayawas.

 

After the funeral and upon going back at home, clean your hands using a wash from boiled guava leaves.

 

- Lumpos (Novena for the Dead)

 

Offer a lumpos or novena (pasiyam) prayer for the dead, starting from the day of the funeral after the burial rite. A group of managdasal (usually apostoladas or the local parish's female church workers) may be hired for this purpose. The bereaved usually offers a simple snack of usually bread or biscuits and juice, or pancit or sopas to give thanks in exchange for the service.

 

- 40 Days

 

To mark the 40th day of the deceased, a "40 days" parasal (prayer offering) must be held in celebration, to mark the day the soul of the deceased supposedly enters heaven or the afterlife.

 

- Bakas

 

On the 9th or 11th month of the day of death, a bakas must be held, which is characterized by another round of parasal and feasting, in which meat dishes are typically served as in a fiesta, but a lot less lavish.

 

• Sudden Appearance of Butterflies/Moths

In addition, a visit of strange butterflies or moths in unusual times or circumstances at any time of the grieving period is construed as a visit from the recently departed.

 

If the above practices are not properly observed, the bereaved might not be able to appease the soul of the dead or the dearly departed might get mad and visit his/her family with disturbance.

(Expanded from a list compiled by Bryan F. Junio; Jamancy Espiritu; Cinderela Ildefonso; Laarni Manalo; Rochelle Reyno; and Geraldine Abalos of Bayambang National High School; additional informants: Clarita Ferrer-Tagab, Sheina Mae Gravidez, Vernaliza M. Ferrer)

Editor: Resty S. Odon